PARENTING: How To Prevent Teenagers from Sexting and Protect Them From Other Teens Who Do
With the ubiquity of ever more powerful cell phones, sexting has become an increasing concern for the parents of teenagers and preteens. This article describes how you can protect your child from the dangers of sexting, an activity that has major implications for long-term online reputation and electronic privacy.
Sexting refers to sharing nude or near nude pictures, usually via a mobile phone. Most experts distinguish between sending naked photos, an activity with serious privacy, health, and legal implications, and simply sending suggestive text messages, which is less harmful.
Understand why teenagers engage in sexting
Although teens are less concerned with online reputation management than adults, that doesn’t mean they are unaware of the electronic privacy implications of sexting. Teenagers sext for completely understandable reasons, so drop the “my child would never do that” attitude. According to two recent surveys (PDF), approximately 1 in 10 American teenagers have sent sexts, and approximately 1 in 3 have received them.
Some of the reasons teenagers send sexually explicit photos include the following:
- Peer pressure or cyberbullying
- Self-esteem issues
- Rebelliousness, or the sense that they should be allowed to decide
- As a romantic gesture
- Because it feels naughty, liberating, or grown-up
- As a sexual favor in exchange for other services
Below are some other statistics useful in developing a rounded picture:
- Girls are slightly more likely to send explicit photos than boys.
- Of teenagers that do send sexually explicit photos, about 10 percent willfully send them to people they don’t even know. One teen girl even sent nude photos of herself to an entire school hockey team.
- Approximately 80 percent of young people in the U.S. under the age of 18 believe sexting is wrong, although some of those same teens do it anyway.
- Most teens that send sexts never get caught.
Learn about the actual dangers of sexting
As it turns out, teens are fairly well educated as to the dangers of exposing private information or photos digitally. They also understand the impact on their online reputations, at least among their peer groups. Datafrom the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire suggests that sharing personal information electronically does not on its own correlate to an increased risk of harm.
According to a survey
of American adolescents, 3 out of 4 get it right when they say that sharing personal information or photos online falls between “somewhat safe” and “somewhat unsafe,” similar to the danger of underage drinking.
Where teens fall short is in their understanding of the legal ramifications of sexting. Simply stated, sending sexts of people under 18 years of age is illegal. Beyond online reputation, teens that send sexually explicit photos can be convicted of child pornography charges and have their names permanently placed on registered sex offenders lists. This has already happened: One Florida youth received five years probation and registration as a sex offender when he send nude photos of his ex-girlfriend to her entire family and school.
This scenario is made worse by the fact that teens are highly likely to share the sexts they receive, with little regard to the electronic privacy of the sender. Even if your child would never engage in sexting under normal circumstances, the temptation to forward unsolicited naked photos of a classmate, like the ones sent by the Florida teen above, can be hard to resist. But it can land your child in jail.
Educate your teen respectfully
You will not stop your teen from sexting by adopting a stern, draconian attitude. They can outwit you technologically and they know it, so prevention is the best form of protection. Show your children that you understand the actual dangers and the pressures they face.
Sit down with your teen in a non-confrontational, non-threatening environment. Tell your child that you want to talk about digital privacy, and ask if they know if their peers engage in sexting. (Chances are they do know, whether or not they tell you about it.)
Next, explain that you understand why teens sext, but also emphasize the legal dangers. Explain that if he or she receives a sext, it should under no circumstances be distributed because distribution is a violation of privacy laws. Also explain that if you find child pornography on the child’s phone, you may be legally required to take it to the police.
If you have already found evidence that your child is sexting, consider counseling through your teen’s school or with local law enforcement. An embarrassing slap on the wrist is better than a child pornography conviction. For teens whose online reputation has been tarnished by a sexting mistake gone bad, contact a web reputation management firm like Reputation Defender.
Adopt a healthy digital environment at home and engage in appropriate monitoring
Teens who engage in more destructive forms of sexting often also have other problems, ranging from abuse of drugs or medications to binge drinking or over-reliance on anti-depressants. The best way to cope with this type of sexting is to maintain a healthy home environment where teens feel like part of a connected family.
For starters, ban cell phones at the dinner table or during other family activities. (Yes, that means your BlackBerry is banned too.) Additionally, insist that phone chargers stay in the parents’ bedroom, where children won’t have access after bedtime. This prevents round-the-clock peer pressure caused by the 100 text messages that the average American teen girl sends daily. And when it comes to sexting, the best form of privacy protection is lack of access. Next, instigate routine monitoring at random times, when you and your teen sit down together to go through multimedia phone messages. Stay away from your teen’s texts, only look at photos and videos. You want to show respect for privacy and that you’re only concerned with protection. Also, allow the child to operate the phone during these sessions, though make sure you know how the phone works so that they can’t dupe you. Knowing that their phone will be observed will help children to stay on the straight and narrow.
Sexting is yet another modern danger for parents to worry about, but if you adopt family-centric, respectful parenting techniques combined with education, you can rest assured that your child is likely to make the right choice.
